5/17/22 Damaged Brain

 Damaged Brain

“Error, brain has stopped working.”

“No it hasn’t, if it can tell me it has shut down, it obviously still works!” I shout to myself. No matter how hard I try though, my brain continues not to function. “Ughhh I hate when this happens.” 

I grab my bag and begin to walk to the nearest brain tune-up center. The distance itself is short, but with a malfunctioning brain, the walking part is difficult. Thankfully my muscles have a memory of their own that is non-reliant on my actual brain. 

Reaching the tune-up center, I stumble in the door. A few employees see me and quickly come to my aide. 

“How can we help you today sir?” one of the gentlemen ask.

“My brain is telling me it has stopped working,” I reply.

“Stopped working? Can you be a little more specific?”

“No, all I have heard in my head all day is ‘Error, brain has stopped working,’ that’s it.”

I notice as the man’s eyes go wide. “Oh no,” he says quietly to himself, not realizing I could hear it.

“What do you mean ‘Oh no’?” I ask, now very concerned.

“Oh it’s nothing, but we will be taking you to the back immediately.” 

Two employees grab me by the shoulders, “Hey wait! What’s going on with my brain?!” I ask, helpless to resist the men carrying me.

I am taken to one of the back rooms and sat in the chair. They strap me in before opening my brain's control panel. 

“Ooooh, ummmm, hmmmmm,” the man reacts as he looks at the panel. 

Fear really sets in and turns into panic. “Hey, I am right here and can hear you, you know! And I would like to know what’s going on!”

“Sir, you need much more than just a tune up. You need a whole new brain and control system installed.”

“Alright,” I say, knowing it will be costly but doable.

“But…”

“But?” I question.

“But in the time it would take to get a new system and have it installed, well, I don’t think your current brain will last that long.”

 “Oh,” I reply solemnly. “Is there anything you can do to make it last long enough for me to get a new one.”

“Sir, to be blunt, I have never seen damage this bad.”

“So what are my options?” I ask, knowing what at least one of them is.

“Well, I can either turn off your brain now, or we can take you back to your home, and you can wait for it to die there.”

The panic I felt before turns to slight hysteria, “So I either die right here right now, or in a little while in my home. Ha! This is not what I had planned for today.” The man just looks at me as tears begin to run down my face. “Well if I’m screwed either way, you might as well just shut me off now.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, but also yes, let’s just get it over with, why spend my last hours worrying?”

“Sir, I will need you to sign a consent form allo-”

I cut him off, finding this proposal hilarious, “Consent for you to kill me!? Wow, isn’t that something. Sure, bring it out, I’ll sign it.”

The man leaves the room for a moment and returns with paper and pen in hand. He shows me where to sign, and I place my signature on multiple pages.

“Ok, well, we are ready I guess,” the man says awkwardly, given the strange situation.

“Real quick, before I go, has this ever happened to you guys before?” 

“Well I personally haven’t witnessed it, but I mean, we have the form so…”

“Got it,” I laugh a little to myself. “Well if I could give you a good review afterwards I would, you have made this slightly easier.”

The man now laughs a little, “Thank you sir.” There is a pause of silence. “Are you ready?”

I take a deep breath, “Yes.”

The End

5/17/22