6/27/22 Arachnophobia

 Arachnophobia

Spiders are terrifying. Their entire presence brings fear to a room. The creepy long legs, the thought of venomous bites, their slow crawl…horrifying.

Seeing a spider is scary but losing one is even worse. The feeling of fear when looking at the spider, not courageous enough to kill it, but not wanting to walk away, in fear of it running and hiding.

Spiders inspire fear, make us freeze or do unnatural things. Even when they are so small, a tiny fraction of our size, they still make us turn into statues, frozen with fear.

Being alone with a spider brings out a strange kind of courage. Knowing that the spider needs to die, but also that no one else is around to kill it. In the moment the only thing to do is to kill it, no matter how terrifying the thought is. 

The worst part is not knowing if the spider will just hold still so it can be squished, or if it will run. And if it runs, in what direction will it go? Will it scatter across the open floor, in an easy place to be squished, or squeeze itself into a tiny crack, making the action of killing it impossible.

So many factors go into killing a spider. There is a build up to killing it when alone. Getting ready, running through all the reasons it can’t hurt you. But even with all the logic in the world behind you, the thought of being anywhere near the eight legged demon haunts you. You can feel the spiders running all over your body and you can’t help but smack them away, even though you know they aren’t really there.

Once the courage has been built up and a make-shift tool has been constructed, it still takes time, standing with the spider-killing weapon, testing how best to kill it, what angle will ensure its death, a few practice tries, getting close but not yet squishing it. 

Then it is time for the spider to finally die.. All the practice, the tiny amount of built up courage, running through all the ways the spider could react if it is not immediately killed, and then you kill it. It is done, it seems easy. You squish it a few more times just to confirm its death. You are satisfied for now, but forever on the lookout for the next spider.


The End

6/27/22

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